ANOTHER LESSON OF LETTING GO

I'm sitting here with no more feelings at all but still thinking of you. Wondering where it all started and what makes me hold on although it didn't start as what it should be. Feelings have been broken and have been revealed. Secrets held in between.

You've been what I always wanted. At least that's what I've set my mind to. Yet you never come to overtake me. You just stayed right where you are. Pretended to bourish my feelings but stayed hidden under your own shadows with walls not even I could break. You never hid anything yet you never said much. You just stayed as close as the moment came for us.

I thought I was too strong to come to my senses, to finally discover the truth under your mask. I never expected what will happen next as the truth unveils itself before me. You tried to open up a part of who you really are and the things you haven't told me before. It left me numb as I struggle not to reveal how I feel as I try to sympathize with you telling me what's been seperating us all this time or just what's keeping you away from me.

I was never in your mind. Now what's been said had all been broken. Being the best of friends was only with words alone because it never rooted in our hearts. I'm trying not to come to you. Trying not to tell you that you never gave me any worth. You only wanted me as long as you can see me. The moment I was gone, your thoughts of me diminishes too.

You've been an arrow that struck me. Left me clueless about the final blow that will break my heart. I still think you were the last thing I ever wanted that I will never let go. But then, reality comes in putting a spotlight in front of me, yelling for me to wake up. I guess you're never really worth it at all. You're just another lesson of letting go.

---this is something I created back in year 2005. Went through some heartaches before that caused me to write something like this... kind of like a hate letter but well, I've moved on already and thanked God for a wonderful relationship he's given me with my mahal. He's certainly the greatest reward and blessing I have in my life right now, someone that makes my life worth living. =D